Spinwork Blog

As unheard of of two blogs in a week may be in recent years, yesterdays achievement is owed one.

After a lot of bitching, moaning, throwing things, and all the other crap I usually do that I’ll spare you when I have issues writing, I finally finished the first swath of Cloudnigh, bringing me just short of being ready to post. In retrospect its sort of horrifying that it took me almost THREE MONTHS to write THREE CHAPTERS (me, the dude who write 200 pages in four, once), but in my defense, this whole thing was a huge learning experience involving what it takes to get quality writing out of me, and the role editing plays in my process.

Over the next three-odd weeks, I’ll be editing what I have with Marina and getting the first episodes ready to post. By the looks of things, it turns out I’m actually going to be moving ahead with two-three updates a week, rather than bi-monthly as I was planning. I’ll have a definite one or the other closer to launching time.

Along with Cloudnigh, I’ll be moving house over to leophimstudios.com, and opening Leophim Forums, running on IPB. I don’t know when exactly the move is going to take place, since ‘Nigh is sort of the priority right now. ^^;

Keep an eye on my twitter for updates! Thanks for reading!

Spinner Cloudnigh, Daily Blogging, Site-related 2010, Cloudnigh, Editing, forums, launch, leophim studios, Site-related

School’s back in session again, thus returning me to the eternal struggle of finding the time to sit down and write. A lot’s been going on in both areas–what, with finding an apartment for the summer, finally getting passed some major Cloudnigh blocks that were making me about ready to make me stave in someone’s face, and this cute little idea I’m kicking around that may or may not sprout wings and crash into my window when I least expect it. So in short, all the usual.

I’ve been feeling a sense of impending doom lately about getting Cloudnigh going. The more I write, the more I realize how different the story is from anything I’ve done before. It’s weird to think of my writing and concepts in any sort of style, especially objectively–but if I did, ‘Nigh departs it in ways some of my other “off” stuff (like, for example, Shadower) doesn’t. I’ve come to consider my recent works–Hellion, Avondalius, and this new nameless one–to be more in the “innocently told, maturely realized” vein of things. In simple terms, I’m feeling a LOT of my Miyazaki influence coming out in those pieces. Again, really weird to think about it on those terms. Cloudnigh departs that completely. It feels more hardboiled, more serious, less escapist and more dystopian, real and intense. There’s a lot of irony in it–since I decided to rib every aspect of the music, politics and teen society that I could reach. On the whole, it’s been sort of unsettling to write. I like it

Speaking of changes and differences, expect a site move sometime in the near future before Cloudnigh goes live. Its been one hell of a task over three years to find a site name I actually like–maybe this time this one will settle well enough.

That’s all for now–thank’s for reading!

Spinner Daily Blogging, Site-related 2010, Cloudnigh, Site-related

My God. Holidays at Starbucks were made to murder both customers and baristas. The last five days has consisted of some of the most maddening hours I’ve ever spent at this job. Rushes have started lasting all day, from 8AM to 5PM, with intermittent swells before and after. I’ve even noticed it as a customer. Those of you who follow my twitter will know I had numerous occasions today where I had people’s butts shoved in my face for minutes on end. Not cool. Even if growing up on the New York City subways have me partially used to it.

The other day I finished something that’s been driving me starkers since mid-November, that being finally finding a good, solid opening to Cloudnigh. People who read the IF version may or may not know how much I hated the original opening. If I have one pet-peeve, it’s protagonists that give an impression of emotional patheticism–which Roman did, uncharacteristically so. After much attempting to soften what I had, and then fretting over it, I finally  broke down and wrote a new first chapter. I’m fairly happy with the result–again, shocking, since I hate first chapters.

Now that I’ve got a solid foundation, my effort can now go into editing the remainder of my material–my goal is five chapters as a buffer–and then getting things going. I’ve been toying with web designs and the like in my spare time, and leaning towards a brown-grey themed design (Matt’s artwork asks for it). We’ll see how that goes in the long run. I’m not sure how long it’ll be before I have something up, but I’m aiming for late January, early February. I’ve also got some Spinwork related changes coming down the pike, but that’s another update.

So, it’s the new year now, meaning I should have some new years resolutions. Yeah. Well, I do–don’t get me wrong–but nothing really worth discussing on a writing blog–losing weight and eating better is among them–but nothing writing-related that I’d call a resolution. 2009 has been the best year for writing for me since 2004/2005, and that’s saying a lot for me. I finished a draft of Lanternfly, which still continues to mature and grow in my mind even though its been 2 months since I did any work on it, worked on and off on Shadower throughout the year, and fixed my sights on Cloudnigh. Its hard to believe I’ve been working on the story for eight months–exclusively, for four. In short, there’s nothing I want to accomplish in this year that I can’t from setting realistic goals and just keep walking.

In other news, I’ve started reading Anna Karenina, which has induced many orgasms of joy. Tolstoy was one smart mother fucker when it came to people. I can’t count the number of times while reading I found myself laughing and thinking, “I’VE THOUGHT THAT WAY,” and “I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT,” which seems to be the pinnacle reaction to my reading lately. Its so incredible how writers from the fucking 1800s are seeing the same sort of human traits I’ve picked up on with the people I’ve known. I’d always thought that when a society evolves, the mannerism did so too, which in retrospect, I guess is sort of naive. No–people seem to have had the same “shoulds” and “oh-god-fucks” and “ZOMFG WHY?” now as they did then, if not made a little bit more insecure and unstable by the 21st century’s marketing and media machine.

Things go swimmingly–so off I swim. Thanks for reading!

Spinner Books & Reading, Cloudnigh, Musings & Rants, Site-related 2010, Anna Karenina, Cloudnigh, Lanternfly, New Years 2010, ranting, Starbucks, work

I’ve been thinking now and again about how much I use this blog and how useless it is. I mean, I’m not a published writer, and no one really ought to care about what I have to say. Hell, I don’t even have any experience in the industry aside from advice I’ve received from various professors over the last few years. By that logic, this blog shouldn’t exist, and I shouldn’t be trying to promote myself. People don’t care about books until they’re done, and I highly, highly doubt the world needs to know about the growing pains I have with my writing.

Prior to this, I spent about six years around with a LiveJournal which was pretty much a wild emo-fest covering day-to-day events from 2003 onwards. Its sort of horrifying to look back on now–2,500 entries or so of raw emotional defecation. I still use it now and again–mostly to publish really personal things for my closest friends. That, nonetheless, is my introduction to the world of “blogging.” I really shouldn’t be that uptight about posting useless shit. After all, that’s what my twitter is for, even if I did spend an entire day once mocking the people who used it for useless crap like the fact they were “drinking coke, lol.”

There are just days where I go through these existential bursts of “what’s the point?” Fortunately the amount of these moments that concern my writing are less and less as of late. I wonder how long THAT will last. I’ve been trying not to remind myself I’ve got the second draft of a novel to slog through by August. The fact this is the first second draft I’ve done aside (at least, the first second draft of anything over 20 pages), I’ve got a bit more to write before I actually start the process of going through and taking stuff away and fiddling. Oh, and then theres the research. There’s a lot of stuff I want to look up on steam engines, flower arrangements, mopeds, law, the feudal system, the history of–ye gads. Yeah. I think I proved my own point. There’s a lot of stuff to do.

I think the point here is that I want to start doing more with this blog than just ranting about how the writing’s coming. I’ll see what I can do about that.

In other news, I’ve been working on two site-related projects–one, the final design integration of this blog into the Spinwork layout, and… *gasp* the forums. I’m still struggling over whether or not I want forums on Spinwork. I always thought I’d wait until after I got some short stories up. I may still–but it’ll be good to have something waiting for when that actually happens. I mean, if this blog is bloody pointless, then forums would be like trying to burn ashes.

I’ll see what I can do about actually interesting content in the interim.

Thanks for reading!

Spinner Daily Blogging, Hellion, IS 2009, Site-related 2009, Bitching, forum, IS2009, moaning, Spinwork

I had to edit a peice of Endoflux Theory for class today. My mind’s been really far from the story lately, so I feel like what I wrote is slightly lacking. Nonetheless, I think its decent enough to share with the few of y’all who may read this. Just as long as y’all know, for the record, that this piece annoys the shit out of me. For those of you who read the original on SE,  this will be 100% new. Enjoy, if you can.

“Jump, Lucas.”

Lucas Sebring blinked. Below him sprawled a world shielded behind grey curtains, streaked with the white of slowly falling snow. He knew this place.

He’d had this dream before. It was always the same. The same thoughts. Same stimuli. Nothing was ever any different.

Somewhere behind him, the man who’d told him to jump stood, but Lucas knew that he would never see his face. He was transfixed, as always-rooted and staring into the oblivion below him with the suspicion that somewhere below destiny waited. Was it a chasm? A city? Hell? It was impossible to tell from the muted glow barely perceptible from the other side.

Lucas Sebring sighed. He’d had this dream before. His task was burned into his mind like a drug habit. Right now, he was tripping, repeating things he’d done a thousand times before. When he opened his eyes-or rather, found them open-everything would be gone. Not even the tatters of the dull tinge of this high would remain.

The voice behind him, repeated. “Jump, Lucas. Save yourself.”

Who the fuck are you? Lucas yelled in his mind. Irony told him it was his father, and this dream was post-traumatic stress. Of what, though? Why the hell would he associate that with his father? He couldn’t remember exactly. Something unpleasant. He evaporated the thought.

“You must save yourself!”

The voice had become urgent now. He’d had this dream before. Why did it want him to jump so badly? There were no answers-just orders. Jump. Save yourself. It was like being asked to lose all faith in order to regain it. Stupid shit-the sort of crap religious fundamentalists tell you to do when you meet them on the train. Take a leap. Take a word from someone who’s face he couldn’t see.

So did that mean this was the voice of God? Lucas was a biologist. He was raised in the Earthen tradition of Roman Catholicism. He went to church on Sundays-at least, when he didn’t have a hangover to recover from. That he attended at all was out of guilt, Lucas knew-for what, that was another thing he couldn’t remember. Why the hell did all his memories feel like distant road signs in this place?

The voice came again, this time its tone was reproachful. “Hesitation will not save you, Lucas. Only action.”

Even if the man behind the voice wasn’t his father, he sure as fuck sounded like him. Even the frustration was the same. Fine, Lucas hollered, remembering a time where he might have screamed this from the other side of a door, rather than on the edge of some precipice overlooking some nondescript place. I’ll fucking do it. Save myself-Whatever! Just stop telling me what to do!

Lucas took a shuddering breath and knew what came next. He would close his eyes. Then he would open them. Take in one more breath. Hold it. Jump. His final exhale would propel him to his death.
He’d had this dream before. It was always the same. The same thoughts. Same stimuli. Nothing was ever any different. Except for this time.

This time, Lucas found defiance lingering beneath the surface of his usual response. Where it had sprung from, he didn’t know. Perhaps one of the distant road signs had changed. Maybe it was less clear than usual or more so. Whatever the reason, when Lucas finally jumped, he didn’t let himself fall as he always did-turning in midair as he fell, so he wouldn’t see the ground coming up.  Instead he turned, twisting in mid air so that he faced the precipice, to gaze upon the face of the man giving the orders…

…But there was no face. No eyes. No nose. Or even a mouth or hair. Just a broad frame, the hands held behind its back expectantly, waiting for the command to be carried out.

Figures.

Allowing his back to turn to gravity, Lucas Sebring fell to his death.  An instant later, he found himself staring at the stucco ceiling of his apartment. The traffic light outside flashed yellow against the ceiling. The synchronized beats of his twin hearts echoed in his ears. The 36-hour time clock beside his bed red 9:55AM-five minutes before his alarm. For all he’d known, he hadn’t slept a wink all night.

Spinner Daily Blogging, Endoflux Theory, Short Works, Site-related Endoflux Theory, snippet

For those of you who visit the writing-void (WORKING ON THAT) that is my Spinwork portfolio, I updated a few of the pages, added an FAQ, cut the Endoflux page, and added more detailed sections and pictures for the Lanternfly and Shadower sections. Still working on the blog layout, and possibly, a forums (I have the stuff installed, I just need to skin it and actually figure out if there’s even a point/any time).

Backing up to the Endoflux thing for a second. Why’s Endoflux gone? I’m not cutting the story–but it’s just not on my list of in-progress projects right now. At the moment, Lanternfly is my 100% priority. Hopefully I’ll get to Shadower sometime before 2010. But Endoflux–I really don’t have time for it right now. It’s a great idea, and has a lot of potential. But I’ve got other stuff I want to write, so that’ll have to wait. And that’s that.

In other news, I got to change the water filters at work today. Seriously one of the most entertaining moments at Starbucks ever. First of all, it gave me every reason to never drink unfiltered water ever again. New York/Vermont water is fairly clean, but looking at a brownish water filter after three months of use and you’ll actually realize there IS shit floating around in there. Haha, fuck.

This is a lot later than I’ve been up in a while. Funny, I’ve actually been sleeping lately.

Back into Lanternfly tomorrow. Thanks for reading!

Spinner Daily Blogging, Endoflux Theory, Hellion, IS 2009, Shadower, Site-related Endoflux hiatus, FAQ, Lanternfly, Shadower, Spinwork, work

FYI for those of you wondering why the blog looks so… weird?. I unsuccessfully tried to alter the layout of the blog. As you can see, it didn’t work too well. Unfortunately, my Mac currently doesn’t have a sufficient HTML editor, so you guys are gonna be stuck this for the next 12 hours or so until I can get done with my writing and fix it. Sorry, all! ^_^

I did manage to tweak the CSS and images on the main page… its kind of sexy. Oh, yeah, and I have officially entered the realm of microblog loserism. I don’t know what’s weirder… that I can nearly instantly update Twitter with pics from my iPhone, or that this pretty much means I’m permenantly tied to the internet. My father would be so proud. I am going to make AT&T regret ever getting me that new SIM Card.

Time to kick into today’s Lanternfly work.

P.S. I know there are some inconsistancies on the main page, like referring to Lanternfly in two words instead of one. Oops. Will fix ^^;

Spinner Site-related

There are always going to be times when you write where you find that you can’t, and not because you don’t know what to write. Right now, I’m pretty distracted by a lot of stuff going on in my personal life. Most of it is really too trivial to talk about. The real stuff keeping me from writing these days is school work and my job. And even when I get free time–which isn’t often–I’m usually discouraged by how I have to rush through everything. Right now, for example, I’m working on some stuff for class and I can’t get into it because I know I won’t have time to dedicate myself to it.

At the moment, my goal to close out 2008 is get some pieces done for the site. There’s a new design in the works that I’ll reveal when I’ve got enough done. At the moment it’s not in code yet. Heck–I started it last night. Hopefully I can get a blog-skin working for this thing, too.

Spinner Daily Blogging, Site-related Rants, work-load

… I have a working blog for the ESS site. This is probably the fourth blog I’ve attempted on my writing and insofar none of them have faired very well. We’ll just have to see how this one goes. Last few times, it was because the site I was using wasn’t final or based on a particular project or something along those lines.

Any way, welcome to the blog. For those of you who don’t know me or by some fluke of nature found themselves interested in the “blog” tab on the ESS site, I am Ben, an aspiring author. If you’ve read my profile, you will know I’m a story-and-writing fiend who hails from Brooklyn, New York and studies at Champlain College in Vermont. I’ve basically been telling stories on-and-off my entire life, sometimes to the point of nauseating those in my company (^^;). My venture into the world of online writing began in 1999 when I began writing for a role play site’s mailing list. It’s pretty much grown from there.

I already have the site and my Twitter, so just what do I need this blog for?

My intent with the site wasn’t to update the actual content frequently, but to function more as a portfolio for my work. It’s also an incentive to actually post my writing once in a while (apparently, I’m infamous for being hermit-like when it comes to showing people my stuff). So, when I’m not giving you multi-daily updates on writing progresses on Twitter, I’ll be posting detailed stuff here. Chances are, this will also be heavily neglected xD

In case you’re totally confused about this Twitter thing, go to the main page of ESS and look under the “Microblog” tab. I use it to provide frequent updates on through-out the day work on various projects. I won’t use it much until Twice Born gets up, however.

Twice Born, if you don’t know, is my fourth novel attempt and first serious online project. I’m still working hard on early episodes and planning it. At the moment, it looks to be a trilogy, and will take me anywhere from 3-5 years to complete.

That about covers it for the opening post. I hope y’all enjoy this blog ^_^

Spinner Daily Blogging, Site-related